Good Evening,

I come before ya'll hopefully more humbly than I was last week and even yesterday. Upon saying this most likely I have negated my humble outlook however I feel it is an accurate assumption. Throughout the last several posts there has arose an underlying theme of seminary and its mysteries. I suppose the mysteries do not exist in the academics or the material we are learning, the field work or small groups but rather in the Holy Spirit working through all of the above. If I could honestly say that seminary is easy I would be gravely mistaken. The course load is extremely tough and chaotic during this first year and suppose it does not get any easier but rather the seminarian becomes accustom to t he environment. Currently we are in the rinse cycle after the spin cycle and thus preparing for another spin cycle. There have been several experiences here that have in other words brought me to the point of asking hard questions such as am I really supposed to be here and if so why. With this said today has become a culmination of these questions and pleading to God to reveal these answers. Now I cannot say that a voice on high came to me such as the prophets of the Old Testament but rather through those around me. This is as we refer to in pastoral care through Dr. Yeago's essay an inward discerning and an outward affirming. Today I sat at my desk on the brink of tears struggling with the previous questions of why and prayed for clarity. I proceeded to study for Greek after my frustrating prayer and eventually fell asleep from exhaustion. Later walking in the hallway of our academic building I was again studying for Greek and a classmate of mine came to me and asked how are you? Like most people I replied I'm good/here/ok. He then began to say simply "remember the one who has sent you, making it this far would not of been possible without the one who has sent you." I could of simply ignored this comment except for the minute amount of tears I held back upon hearing these words. I immediately turned and saw one of my small group mentors standing in the hallway, I suppose this is where Lutheran witness comes into play, and thus went to her and told her exactly what had happened. All she could do is smile and promise to keep me in prayer. Besides speaking to my heart and through the actions of others I can honestly say that this might have been the first time that the words of the Holy Spirit have come directly to me. This might seem strange but I suppose the words needed to be said directly to me as a witness to my prayers and frustrations.

Peace,

Jason